Interpersonal Skills
Slipping out of your jacket after work, you enter your apartment and slam the door. You take a deep breath and throw the jacket on the floor as hard as you can. You take another deep breath and turn around, opening the door just so that you can slam it one more time.
"So I take it the door did something worse than what the jacket did?"
You gasp and turn around, finding Adam smiling at you. "Jesus Adam you scared me!" You place your palm flat on your chest to calm your breathing. "What are you doing here?" He pouts at you, subtly perfecting the curl of his lower lip. You sigh. "I only meant that I thought you said your afternoons this week were all booked up with planning the illusions for the next two specials." You look back to him. The pout has been joined by the big puppy-dog eyes. "And I've had the day from the pit of Hell and I'm in a horribly shouty mood. I'm sorry."
The pout relents and he holds his arms open for you. You move forward and hug against his chest. He folds his strong arms around you. "Poor Love. Come tell me about it."
"No. I'm fine really. I don't want it to take up any more of my time than it has. Especially not time with you."
"We'll see." He scoops you into his arms and carries you to the couch. "Go on, kick your shoes off." He smiles at you. "Don't give me that look. Just do as you're told for once." You do and he settles into the corner of the couch, cuddling you on his lap. "Now tell Adam what happened."
"It doesn't matter. I'm just tired. It's stupid anyway." You sigh. "It's stupid and petty and beneath me and ..."
"And it's bothering the Hell out of you no matter how much you tell yourself it shouldn't be. So just tell me about it."
"Well it's just...there's this woman that I work with. She's such a bimbo. I mean she's really flighty. I don't even know how she got this job...Well actually, I can guess. The clothes she wears...I think I've seen more of her boobs than I've ever seen of my own." You look up at Adam who is grinning broadly.
"And that's still not what's really bothering you is it?"
You rest your head against his chest and close your eyes. After a pause, you inhale slowly. "No. She's got some kind of grudge against me. And she's always doing things...little petty stupid schoolyard things to try and turn people against me or...or make it look like I've screwed things up somehow or...just any little spiteful thing she can think to do she tries. And the whole time she's doing it, she's smiling and acting like we're best pals. And it just drives me absolutely nuts!"
"Well is what she's doing working?"
"No. She's so obvious that everyone, including me, is on to her. But she's so stupid that she thinks she's being all subtle and slick and devious."
"But she isn't succeeding."
"It doesn't matter. She's still doing it! I just want to go up and sock her in the eye sometimes!"
"Okay, but she wants appearances to be that you two get along well and she thinks that you think that she's your friend?"
"Yes I think so....hey...I know that tone. What are you up to?"
Adam's smile is truly evil. "So what you're looking for is something legal, untraceable but effective and terribly terribly satisfying, yes?"
You smile as well. "That'd do."
"Why don't you give your little pal a phone call and invite her to the show tonight?" He puts his hands on your waist and lifts you from his lap, setting you on your feet on the floor.
"Why?"
"You'll see my Love, you'll see.....BWAHAHAHA....." The sound of his overly theatrical evil laughter follows him out of the room.
You shrug and walk to the phone.
The Bimbo was more than accepting of your invitation to your well-known boyfriend's performance. Knowing her as well as you've come to, and judging by the plunge of the neckline she's wearing, you are sure the smell of money and the idea that she could easily have something that was yours were the main reasons why.
As was planned, you took her around backstage to meet Adam before the show. He flirted a little. She flirted a lot. You pretended not to notice. You brought her back out to the main auditorium and sat in your front row seats.
Mid-way through the performance, you excuse yourself to use the ladies room. Actually you've made your way back around the stage. As the Bimbo sits by herself, Adam scours the audience for a volunteer. Much to her surprise, and not yours at all, he selects her to accompany him onto the stage for the Sarcophagus of Sabers illusion. As she soaks up the applause from the crowd, Adam sneaks a look over to you and winks discretely. You smile and make your way down the back stage stairs, descending into the rather large understage room to take your place.
From your position, you can hear Adam locking the Bimbo into the box above you, whispering encouragement to her as he does so. Soon you hear a rehearsed tone of worry creep into Adam's voice as he says, only loud enough for her to hear, that something doesn't seem right. He says that the illusion isn't going the way it normally should. Then, with just the slightest hint of panic in his voice, he says, "Dear God no! She'll be killed!" At that point, his foot triggers the little switch that drops the trapdoor beneath her. She drops with a scream, falling safely along the chute to land on cushions near your feet.
"Having fun?" You smile at her.
She is panting and wide-eyed. "What?"
"Calm down dear. It was just an illusion."
"A what? You mean that whackjob boyfriend of yours did that on purpose? It was all part of the trick?"
"Yes to on purpose. No to all part of the trick. It was strictly for your benefit. I do know how you so love to be the star of the show."
"You were in on this too?"
"Uh-huh," you smile.
"You're both sick! You...you...I can't believe you! I was your friend!"
"Oh no, the one thing you don't want to do is lie to my face when we're all alone with no witnesses." You draw back your fist, getting ready to sock her in the eye like you've always wanted to...if only that annoying buzzing sound would stop for just a second.
You blink your eyes but everything is dark now and you seem to be laying down someplace warm and soft. And somebody seems to be kissing their way up your cheek and over to your ear. "Time to get up Love."
"No," you slur, sleepily. "I was just about to hit her."
"Well, get up, go to work and then hit her there."
You rub your hands against your eyes and turn into his embrace. Faint moonlight from the window illuminates his face. "But I didn't even get to get to the part where I come up through the stage and pop out of the box and you give me a great big hug and a kiss."
"Hmm, you mean like this?" Adam holds you even tighter and kisses you deeply.
"Yeah," you smile.
He puts his mouth to your ear and whispers, "Would you like me to show you what we would have done next?"
You look into his eyes and he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You grin and nod.
|
|
| The character of Adam Klaus and the show Jonathan Creek were created by David Renwick and are © the BBC. No infringement is intended and no profits are being made. |