So far, they'd had twenty possible sightings. He'd checked out eleven, she nine. They'd also hit Sunnydale hospital several times, and had Willow hack into the state hospitals system, looking for any reports of a badly burned man being admitted. Nothing. A few shot, several stabbed, a couple with amnesia. But nothing that fit Giles' description.
She was running out of leads and time. They were due to start college soon, and she knew her Mom wouldn't let her continue this 'wild goose chase' when she was at school. Unfortunately, the older woman had the perfect weapon. Giles would have wanted her to attend college. It was what they'd both worked so hard for.
She jumped as the phone rang. Picking it up gingerly, she crossed her fingers. "Hello?"
"Buffy, it's me." Her heart skipped a beat as it always did when she heard the accent. But it was only momentary.
"Hello Ethan." She hoped her disappointment wasn't too obvious. "How did it go?"
"Buffy, I'm sorry." They both held their receivers for a moment, not saying anything. Another ritual. After every lead was followed, there was this moment of sorrow, of hopes dashed. Then, they'd start again.
"Oh well. There goes another red herring."
"Yes." It sounded like he was giving up too. "I may have another lead. I'll be gone a few days. Are the others with you?"
"No. They've gone to Los Angeles for some last minute college shopping." Since the 'accident', none of them had left her alone. Probably frightened she'd slash her wrists or something. It would have been funny, if they wouldn't have been right in the first dark days. "But I'll be alright. I'll finish off here, patrol, then head home. I promised Mom an early night."
"Well, be careful."
"Ethan, I didn't know you'd begun to care." She teased.
"God forbid. I just don't want Ripper tearing a strip off me because I didn't protect his precious slayer." He hung up. She didn't know what he felt about who. The only thing they did agree on was Giles.
Sighing, Buffy turned off the computer, and switched the phone over to her place, just in case. She got up and moved to the door. She remembered the landlord's anger at the state of said door after the battle. She never found out how Ethan appeased him, and she definitely didn't want to. Turning before she switched off the lights, she completed her daily ritual. "Night Giles. I'll have you back home soon. I promise."
Chapter Two
Xander and Willow shared a hot-dog as they bickered good naturedly about the film they just saw. They'd been doing their shopping, when they'd decided to take a break. After all, they'd almost finished, and they didn't need to meet Oz for another hour.
"No Xander. It's part one. Before was parts 4 to....." Willow stopped, staring ahead at her.
"Nobody does parts back to front....." Xander continued walking until he realised Willow wasn't with him. "Willow? What is it? You look like you saw a ghost."
"Giles?" She started running "Giles!"
"Willow! Hey. What is it?" Frightened, Xander ran to catch up with her. He grabbed her arm, stopping her momentum.
"What are you doing?"
"What am I doing? What are you doing? You're running through the streets of L.A. shouting to a dead guy." Willow reared as if she'd been slapped. "What's going on Willow?"
She turned frantically to look in the direction she'd been running. "I thought I.... It looked so much." She looked at Xander, fear and hope battling on her face. "Xander I just saw Giles!"
"Are you sure?" They were back in the hotel room, Oz trying to calm down his near hysterical girlfriend, and her hysterical friend.
"I-I think so. I mean, the face looked like his, but the clothes were definitely un-Giles."
"And when you called, did he turn?"
"No. He kept on walking. I would have caught up to him, but I was stopped."
Xander defended himself. "I didn't see anything. For all I knew you were going as crazy as..." He didn't finish his sentence. He didn't need to. They all thought Buffy was unbalanced by Giles' death. Until now.
"What if she was right? What if Giles isn't dead? What if I did see him today?" Willow's excitement was beginning to bubble again.
"We can't know for sure." Oz hated to be the bubble burster. "Not unless we can find him."
The other two looked at each other. Willow spoke first. "We don't really have to be back until Monday."
"You know, I don't think we got everything we need. I don't have enough of those really heavy college-type text books. And you are way short on your 2Bs."
They looked back at Oz. "Hey don't look at me. The band's got another audition tomorrow."
They all smiled, then began their planning.
Chapter Three
Xander and Willow stood on the same corner she'd seen Giles the previous day. Other than food and toilet trips, they'd stayed there for over two hours. They were both losing whatever hope they'd had. "Will, there's no guarantee he'll come back this way. He might have been visiting or shopping or - something." Or not there.
"Just a few minutes longer. Pleease." She put her best whining voice on, and added her puppy dog eyes. He could never resist either.
"Okay. A few minutes more then - we....." He stared down the street. It wasn't possible. He was seeing things because he wanted to see them.
"Xander?" Willow recognized that look. She suspected she wore that look yesterday afternoon. "Xander, you can see him." She whispered it, as if they'd witnessed a miracle. "Where?"
He pointed, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to force words out. Suddenly realizing he wasn't breathing, he expelled some air out of his lungs, before drawing some more back in. "There. He's there." He choked out the words, before what he saw and said really hit him. "He's there. Willow! He's there!"
The two started jumping up and down, hugging each other. In their excitement, they didn't notice people staring at them. "He's alive. We gotta tell Buffy."
They stopped. "But first, we gotta talk to him." They turned to where he'd seen Giles. He wasn't there. They panicked and started running toward the spot. "Where is he? He can't just disappear."
Willow spun around in a circle. She stopped when she saw an open cafe. "Xander." They both stared through the glass window. "Oh, Xander." Willow leaned into him, letting him hug her as the tears fell.
He sat at a table, reading a paper. His hair was a little longer, curling at the neck, but cut to show the silver earring dangling from his left lobe. His glasses were different, but similar to the style he'd worn in the past year. He wore an emerald green shirt, obviously chosen to bring out the green of his eyes. But for the two teens, the short sleeves provided evidence that they were indeed looking at their absent watcher. One ankle was resting against the other knee, pulling the chino's taut across his thigh, and showing his tan cowboy boots to perfection. But again their eyes were drawn to his forearm. And the mark of Eyghon.
Chapter Four
He sensed some eyes upon him. At first he'd put it down to an interested woman. There'd been a few in the past couple of weeks. But this stare was different. More intense. More insistent.
He looked up, searching the cafe and surrounding area for his observer. Nothing seemed unusual. Nobody acted strangely. Except for those two teenagers on the opposite corner. They were arguing with each other. And gesturing his way. Curious, and hopeful, he made his way to where they were standing.
"Can I help you?"
They both jumped, but the redhead seemed extremely nervy. "Hi. We were just coming over to um - to um" She looked at her friend.
"To say hi." He was more quiet. Almost upset over something.
"Do I know you?"
The two teens looked at each other in confusion. He felt the hope rising. Perhaps he did know them.
The boy seemed to make a decision. "Believe me. If you knew us, you'd remember. You don't know us, do you?" He shook his head as he finished the statement.
"No. I don't. I'm sorry." The three stood awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to say. "I couldn't help but notice you were staring at me before. Why?" He hoped the direct approach would work.
They looked at each other again. He was fascinated by how they worked, how they seemed to be able to read each other's minds.
The boy looked down. "The tattoo! We saw your tattoo. Wi-lhemina here likes tattoos. The uniquer the better. Where did you get it?"
He felt embarrassed. "Actually, I don't know. I - can't remember." Did he have to explain it to a couple of strange teenagers? "I have amnesia."
"Oh. I'm - sorry." The girl truly sounded it. "So, what, um, how do you cope with not remembering?"
"Actually, I'm still residing at the Perdido Alma nursing home. Until they think I'm safe on my own. But, I'm allowed out occasionally."
"Lost souls?"
"Yes. Rather apt, don't you think?"
"Well, that's progressive. Come on Wilhemina, time to go. Nice meeting you. Good luck with the amnesia thing."
"Yeah. Bye."
He shook his head as they went. What a strange pair.
Chapter Five
"Just a little bit longer. Until we turn the corner."
"He doesn't remember. Xander, he doesn't remember us."
"I know." He could feel her breaking down. "He's still watching us Will. Come on. Be strong for a few seconds more."
They finally turned the corner. Willow stopped then turned into her best friend's hug. "He can't remember anything. Not us. Or Buffy. Or....."
"Oh man." Xander felt his own tears near the surface. To go from pure joy to despondency in a few minutes. Giles was alive, but he may as well be dead to them all. "Oh man. How are we gonna tell Buffy?"
Willow lifted her head up, looking straight into his eyes. "Wilhemina?!"
Buffy leaned against the fireplace, absorbing what the others had told her. The room was silent as her mother and friends waited for her decision. She touched a photo of she and Giles on the mantelpiece, then closed her eyes, trying to think what was best. "You say he was happy?"
"Well, not happy exactly. Cause he didn't know who he was. But not unhappy, you know?" Willow looked at the others. They shrugged, unsure what Buffy was thinking.
"Yeah." She sighed, then turned to face them. "Happier than he ever was here. He deserves it."
"You're not going after him." It wasn't a question. Willow wasn't really surprised.
Xander was. "What?! After all these weeks of searching, never giving up hope? Now you've found him you're going to leave him there?"
"He's alive. That's all I need to know. Now he has a chance for a normal life. Who am I to take that from him?"
"How can he have a normal life if he has no past. Who are you to make that decision for him?"
"Honey, I'll stand by whatever decision you make. But are you making it for the right reasons?"
"I don't know Mom. I just want him to be okay."
"Last year I found a spell. It could remove memories." They all looked at Willow. "I went to Giles. I thought I could take away your pain. Both of you. That way you wouldn't be so sad. He very patiently explained to me why that wasn't an option."
Buffy moved to the only empty chair. "Why wasn't it?"
"He said that our memories made us what we were. They were the sum of our whole. That to remove even a part of that is to change us. To make us less than we could have been." She hesitated. "Buffy, he may be happy now. But I know what he would have wanted. And that isn't to be only part of what he is. Of who he is."
She looked at her friends, seeing their understanding and their love. Willow was right. She had no choice. For herself. Or for Giles.
Chapter Six
"...he spent a few weeks at the hospital, then was transferred here. There were no major physical injuries, but his amnesia....." The director of the nursing home stopped at the knock on his door. "Enter." He stood up as the patient entered. "Ah. Thank you for coming. I think I may have good news for you."
The Englishman looked at the young girl and woman who had risen when he entered. His expression showed only curiosity. No recognition. The girl looked heartbroken. "Hello Giles."
They walked along the grounds of the nursing home, their pace steady. Tension thrummed through both their bodies. "So you remember nothing at all?"
"Not really." He knew she was disappointed. "Dreams sometimes. Nightmares actually. A girl in trouble, and I'm unable to assist her. But nothing concrete. I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She waited until they'd moved past a group of patients before continuing their conversation. "The girl in trouble. It's probably me. You - help me. A lot. We're sort of a dynamic duo."
"A what?"
"God this is hard. Your name is Rupert Giles. You're from England, which you probably already know. You came here to be with me. You're my Watcher."
He felt distinctly uncomfortable. What kind of a pervert was he? "And what, exactly do I watch?"
"Me. Well, you more than watch but...." She saw the blush stain his cheeks, and felt an answering one in herself. "Oh no. Nothing like that. No way. That's - icky."
"Well, thank you. I think."
They both started to smile. "Not that you aren't attractive in an old guy kind of way. But there's nothing like that between us. You watch me slay. I'm a vampire slayer."
He stopped, looking at her in shock. "I think that they have the wrong patient in this place. Vampires?"
"I know it sounds weird. I didn't believe myself until I bagged my first one. And my mom was in total repressive mode for years." She knew she was losing him. "Look. I can prove it to you. But not here. Will you come with us to Sunnydale? At least for a couple of days? Then you can decide whether to believe us. And what to do."
He hesitated. A sane person would walk away, leave this strange girl. But he didn't know whether he was a sane person or not. And something about her made him want to trust her. "Alright. For a couple of days."
"Great." They started walking back to the administration building. "Oh, by the way. You don't normally wear such cool clothes. Or the earring."
"I have a hole, so I must have worn one once. And what do I normally wear?"
She winced, hoping she wouldn't lose him. "Tweed."
"That's it. One of us is definitely unbalanced."
Chapter Seven
"We thought you might be more comfortable here, rather than at your own place." Joyce knew she was babbling as she unlocked the door, but she couldn't stop herself. "Buffy will take you there later, but this might be less pressure."
"Besides, I've been using it as an operations centre." Buffy indicated to Giles to proceed her.
"For what?"
"Finding you. It's kind of a mess at the moment."
"Oh." He stopped when he saw the young people standing there. "I know you two. Wilhemina right?"
"Wilhemina?!" Laughter was evident in Buffy's voice.
"That's Xander's fault. Hey Giles. My name's actually Willow."
"Hey Giles. I'm Xander."
"And I'm Oz."
"Willow. Xander. Oz. Buffy." They each nodded as he identified them. He shook his head. "And you laugh at Wilhemina."
A hurt look passed Buffy's face. Obviously he'd never kidded her before. "I'm sorry. After all, who am I to talk? Named after a toy bear."
The teenagers looked at each other in confusion, until the redhead remembered. "Rupert the Bear. I didn't even think of that."
"I did." Joyce dropped her keys on the table. "Especially when you wore your tweed."
He looked at her, trying to work out his relationship to this woman. There was something there, yet he also sensed a barrier. Coming from the both of them. Oh well. "Actually, I'm feeling rather tired. Would you mind if I rested for a while?"
"Of course not. Buffy will show you to your room."
"This way. And tonight, we'll show you around Sunnydale. And hopefully prove that there are vampires." If the others were disappointed in his lack of recognition, and unwillingness to be with them, they didn't show it.
Joyce looked at them all with compassion. "Give him time." They nodded. What else could they do?
Chapter Eight
"...that's all that's left of the library. Ethan said you packed it with some explosive, chanted a fire spell, then waited for them to attack. We're not sure how you set the whole thing off, or escaped. The whole building went up. There shouldn't have been time."
"Well, I must have had a plan. Because I did." He shook his head. "It seems so unreal. As though it wasn't me. And you say I did this to destroy this Hellmouth and some vampires?"
"Yeah. Which you still don't believe in." She looked back at the others. "Kinda ironic, don't you think?" He queried their laughter. "You had to explain to us all about vampires. Well, not so much me, because I was already active. But none of the others knew. They kinda stumbled onto it."
"Like you stumbled onto us?" Buffy turned at the intruder's voice. There were half a dozen of them. Too many for her to handle, and protect her friends. She saw Xander and Willow go into defensive mode, but Giles just looked, unsure what was going on. "We're under orders to bring you down. We can do this easy or hard. It's up to you."
She stood, knowing she had no choice. "I like hard, but I'm in a generous mood. Take us to your leader." They were quickly surrounded, yet none of the vampires attacked. Instead they were herded to a nearby sewer manhole, and pushed into the underground system.
Giles followed along with the others, not sure what was happening. He could only trust in the young girl ahead of him, and be prepared for any eventuality. If only he could remember something to help. But it was all a blank. At least, being a Watcher was a blank.
They were led into a larger opening. There were only a couple of additional vampires waiting for them, and one human. "Well, if it isn't the mayor." Buffy's tone was snide.
"You know, between the two of you, you've made a real mess of my town. I've decided to put a stop to it." He stepped in front of Giles. "There's a rumor that you have amnesia. Is it true?"
Giles looked at Buffy. "This is your mayor? Is he a vampire too?" She shook her head. "Yes, it's true. I can't remember a thing."
The mayor laughed, then turned to the slayer. "What good is a watcher with no memory?"
"I can't remember one thing about being a watcher." Giles took the stake Buffy had given him earlier out of his pocket. "But I can remember my Hammer movies." He turned, driving the stake into the heart of the vampire nearest him.
Using the distraction, Buffy turned on her own captors, spinning and knocking them both out with a high kick to one, and a one-two tae kwondo to the other. Before he had time to react, she was on the mayor, holding him in a vice. "Call off your goons or I'll break your back."
The mayor hesitated, hoping his minions would grab one of the slayer's friends. But they'd all moved out of danger. "Move away. Let them go." Buffy dragged him back with her, waiting until they were safely through to the passage, before pushing him onto the following vampires.
"Run!"
Chapter Nine
She led them back to Giles' apartment. "This is nearer. They can't follow us inside." She stepped back, letting the watcher enter first. She held her breath, hoping he'd remember something.
Giles looked curiously around the room. It was packed to overflowing with books, maps and other papers. The computer on the desk looked out of place, and he knew it wasn't his. He turned to the others and shrugged apologetically.
Buffy closed the door, trying to act positively. "That was some move back there. You dusted that vamp good."
"Comes from watching too many late night movies." His tone was down. He'd all but given up hope.
"But it was still a good move." Willow tried to think of something to say. "And something you would have done before. Use every moment to your advantage. One of your adages, hey guys."
"Right. You used to watch Hammer movies?" There was awe in Xander's voice.
"That's a memory, right?" Buffy looked at him, pleading.
Giles had another flash. Nothing specific, but a feeling. That he'd do anything for this girl. "Yes. It's a memory." They all jumped at a knock on the door. Buffy looked through the glass, confused. She opened the door. "Angel? What are you doing here?"
The vampire walked through the entry. "I heard that you found Giles. Is it true?"
"Wow. News travels fast." Xander was amazed at the efficiency of the underworld underground.
Nobody had noticed the Englishman leave the room at the sight of the vampire. It wasn't until his return from the kitchen that Willow noticed something amiss.
"Giles!"
He held a loaded crossbow at the ready, aiming it straight towards Angel's heart. There was no expression on his face, just a cold determination.
Xander felt a panic attack hit. "Giles put the crossbow down." The Englishman appeared not to hear him.
Buffy cautiously made her way over. "Giles. It's alright. Put it down."
"He means danger. He'll hurt us all."
"No he won't. He did once, but he won't now. I promise."
"How?"
"I'll kill him first." He turned, looking into her eyes. Seeing the reassurance he needed, he lowered the weapon, then handed it to her.
"You remember Angel?" There was hope in Willow's voice.
"No. Just the feeling of terror and hatred. What did you do to me?"
Angel looked toward Buffy, fear in his own eyes. She responded to that need. "Angel's a vampire, but he's one of the good guys. For a while there he wasn't, and he did things. To us all. But mainly to you."
"What?"
"It doesn't matter. Not now. Perhaps another day, when you're not so emotional."
He laughed. "Buffy, I have the feeling that, where he's concerned, that day will never come."
Chapter Ten
The following day they all gathered again at Buffy's house. Angel had returned to L.A., realizing he was causing more damage than good. They were all feeling despondent. Giles had accepted everything they'd told him. He believed he was Buffy's watcher. But one fact remained. "The mayor was right. What good is a watcher who can't remember anything?"
"I don't know. I just know that I missed you so much this summer. And that I need you. Not just a watcher, but you."
"And I could get you killed. Here, I'm a danger to myself as well as others."
"You're leaving?"
"I don't know Buffy. I just know that nothing has triggered a return of my memory. Without that knowledge, I'm virtually useless to you, and that makes me a danger to you all. I have to decide what's the best thing to do for us all."
They all waited, hoping that somebody could come up with a suggestion. Unfortunately, Giles was right. Without his memory, he would be in danger.
A knock startled them out of their reverie. "Not another vampire." They all laughed at his joke. Joyce got up to answer the door.
"It' daylight. I think we're safe." Buffy picked up her drink, trying not to break down and cry. She was losing him again. And this time, she didn't know how to stop it.
Ethan's excitement was obvious as he walked into the passage. "I got your message. Is it true? You found him?" His eyes were only on Buffy, not noticing the others in the room.
"Yes, but...."
"Hello Ethan."
Buffy spun at the greeting. "Giles, how did you know....?"
"Ripper?"
His face was pale, as if he had a shock. He turned toward the slayer. "Of all the things I could remember, it would have to be him." She stood, her mouth slightly open. None of the others spoke, not completely realizing his meaning. "It could have been Willow's magic, Oz's lycanthropy, Xander's....well, Xander. It could have been Jenny. It should have been you. Instead, it was that...." He was unable to finish his sentence as his overjoyed slayer launched herself into his arms.