Buffy slowly entered the dimly lit hospital room, staring at the tile floor, preparing herself before she looked up. When she did, she realized that nothing could've ever prepared her for the sight she saw. Her eyes began to well with tears as she took it all in.
There before her lay Giles, pale, weak and fighting for his life. He was clothed in a blue and white hospital gown. A red light from the white plastic clip he wore on his left hand shone on the practical blue blanket that was pulled up to his waist.
Buffy moved to the chair next to his bed. She sat and took his hand, her eyes trailing up his arm, looking at the hospital ID band on his wrist, the clear plastic tape that held the IV tube into his arm. She glanced over to his ashen face. 'He looks so sweet when he sleeps,' she thought to herself as she had many times before upon walking into his office or the library and catching him napping after yet another all-nighter on her behalf. 'Except,' she realized, 'that this time, he may not wake up.' She noticed that his nearly always-present glasses were not there. Buffy's eyes caught the plastic tube taped into the corner of his mouth and she choked back another sob.
"Oh Giles..I'm so sorry," she whispered with her head bowed. Buffy tried to blink back the tears that stung her eyes but soon they were falling uncontrollably and she collapsed on top of his hand trying to use the blanket to muffle her cries. She focused on the steady beeping of his heart monitor to calm her breathing back down. Buffy grabbed some tissues from the little table next to his bed, wiped her cheeks and nose, then took up his hand once again.
"This is all my fault. It's like Merrick all over again. I froze before Lothos and Merrick lost his life because of it. And you...," she looked up at his face once more and gently brushed a stray hair off of his forehead, "you're always warning me that I'm not careful enough. That I don't cover my back well enough and I always brush you off with some smart-ass reply 'cause I don't want to have to deal with it right that second. And look what happened...," she paused, her voice choking up once more. The new tears felt warm against her cheeks and soothed her burning eyes.
"When I first saw you...when you put that damned book in front of me, all I wanted was you out of my life. Now, I think I'd die if you weren't in it. No one has ever been kinder to me. Do you remember the night we finished off the Judge? Later, in your car, when you took me home? You told me that you didn't blame me and that all I would get from you was your support and your respect. If I hadn't known before, that was the moment when I knew that I loved you. Before I knew it, I reached out and wrapped my arms around you, bawling my eyes out against your chest. I was afraid I was embarrassing you by doing it, but I just couldn't stop." Her eyes looked over to his face once more. "You just wrapped your arms around me, put your head against mine, and told me that it was okay, that you were there, and that I would be all right." A small chuckle escaped her lips. "God, we must've sat there for a half an hour." Buffy shook her head. You did so much for me...look what I've done to you."
Rupert Giles walked from his position behind her and reached out to touch her shoulder. "Buffy..." His hand touched her shoulder, and then passed right through it. "Damn."
Chapter Two
Rupert pulled his hand back and stared at it for awhile. It seemed perfectly opaque to him. He tried once more to reach for Buffy's sobbing form; again he passed through her. Confusion and the slightest hint of panic crept in on him. "Buffy? Buffy, I'm right here Can't you hear me?" The blonde girl did not respond. She simply lowered her head to the bed once more, a new wave of grief overcoming her.
As Rupert stepped nearer, he looked in the bed for the first time. He saw himself lying there, connected to various tubes and medical apparatus. The panic increased by leaps and bounds. He found himself backing across the room to his original position. "I...I don't understand this. Buffy! Buffy, what's going on?"
"She can't hear you. You know that by now."
Rupert spun at the sound of a new voice. When he did, he saw a familiar male form, tall, handsome, pale skin, dark features and utterly deadly. Rupert's panic was now replaced with terror, not for himself but for Buffy. "Angelus? You stay away from her or I'll..."
"You'll what?"
Rupert stared down at his intangible hands. "I don't know," he whispered.
"Don't worry Giles, I'm not Angelus."
"Angel?" The smallest hint of hope returned to his voice, then disappeared again. "Then I'm dead?"
"No. At least not yet. That's why I came to talk to you."
"I don't understand."
"Listen to me, you have to fight. She needs you. I can't be there to protect her anymore and you're the only one I trust to do that for me."
"I don't understand. I mean I don't remember what...why am I in that bed? What happened?"
"Earlier tonight...you guys were on patrol...you still don't remember?"
"No. I'm afraid not." Rupert absent-mindedly reached up to adjust glasses that weren't there.
"Come with me Giles, I'll show you."
"But...what about Buffy?"
"She'll be okay. We won't be gone very long, I promise." With that, Angel walked through the outer wall of the room.
Rupert walked up to the wall, stopped and glanced back at Buffy. She had worn herself out crying and was now asleep, her head resting half on the bed, half on Giles hip. She still clutched his hand tightly, as though she could physically keep him there with her if only she held on. Rupert turned back to the wall and, hands stretched out in front of him, walked through.
Chapter Three
When Rupert reached the outside, he saw the Sunnydale cemetery stretched out before him, brightly lit by the brilliant full moon. Angel sat atop a tombstone. Rupert walked to him. "What's going on? This isn't right. You can't even see the cemetery from the hospital."
"This is the astral plane, Giles. Physical space and conventional time have no place here."
Though struggling to get a grip on the true seriousness of the situation, Rupert had an involuntary flash of a similar conversation he'd had with Buffy. A small smile crept across his wan features.
"What?" Angel asked.
"Sorry, just thinking of...asteroids. Anyway, please do go on."
Angel rolled his eyes and then gestured for Rupert to join him on the stone. He hopped up and sat next to him. "Now, pay attention Giles. The events that injured you are about to replay themselves. Are you ready?"
"Yes, I-I-I guess so." Angel waved his hand before Rupert's eyes and when he moved it away, Rupert saw ten figures standing out amongst the graves.
Buffy, Willow, Xander, himself and six vampires, all standing frozen, like statues. Angel snapped his fingers and they sparked into life. Buffy twirled and began to pummel three of the vamps with spin-kicks and well-thrown punches. Xander rolled on the ground with his vampire, each struggling for control of the stake in his hand. Giles kicked a vampire hard in its midsection and when it doubled over, he staked it through the back. He didn't waste time watching it burst in dust particles, he was already headed over to help Willow who had a vampire pinned on the ground but it had a hold of her wrist and was struggling.
Giles kicked the hissing creature in the face and Willow was able to loose its grip and plunge the stake home. Giles assisted her to her feet as she brushed the remnants off of her front. They glanced in Buffy's direction, and saw two groggy vamps on the ground as she staked their charging companion with lightening speed. The twosome decided that they could be of most help to Xander and took off for his position. Willow handed Giles her last stake and as the vampire rolled atop Xander once more, Giles sneaked up on it and jabbed the stake in. He stepped back and the vampire disintegrated, covering Xander in a thick layer of dust.
Xander stood and Willow remained behind to help dust him off. Giles wandered back to Buffy's position just in time to see her finish off the last of the vamps. She turned to him and nodded. "How's everyone?"
"We're all fine. Took care of the rest of them. I must say, you did very well." Buffy smiled at him. The first genuine smile he had seen on her face for a few weeks.
"Thanks. You didn't do so bad yourself."
Giles smiled now. "Yes, well...it's late. We'd better get going."
"Kay, just let me grab my stuff and we'll go." Buffy turned around and walked over to her bag at the base of a nearby tree.
The air was suddenly filled with the sound of tires peeling out and a motor revving. Giles, Willow, and Xander turned immediately in the direction of the noise.
Suddenly, a male voice with a harsh British accent pierced the night. "Now!!!" Next came the sound of machine-gun fire.
Xander's soldiering instincts took over. He flung himself onto Willow and draped himself over her body to shield her. The gunfire had finally attracted the Slayer's attention and she turned in time to see Giles running full charge at her. He tackled her to the ground and covered her as little patches of dirt exploded all around them. Soon the shots stopped and they heard the car speed away into the night.
Xander slid off of the shaking Willow. He helped her sit up and brushed the dirt away from her cheek. "Will, are you all right?"
She shook her head, breathlessly. "You?"
"Yeah," he said, crushing her into a relieved hug against his chest. "Buffy!...Giles! Answer me!"
"Yeah, we're fine!" Buffy answered. She rolled out from under Giles and got to her knees before she realized he wasn't moving. "Giles?" she whispered. Still nothing. She rolled him onto his back and saw the front of his white shirt soaked completely red, small, smoky holes in the upper left chest and abdomen. Buffy's terrified scream pulled the others to their feet and soon they too were kneeling at Giles' side. "Oh God! Oh God!" Buffy sobbed. Willow grabbed her into a hug and held on tight.
Xander snapped into action. He reached down and ripped Giles shirt open with one firm tug. The buttons sprayed the ground. "Willow," he barked, "go to the payphone on Hudson. Tell them to send an ambulance, we have a male in his early forties with injuries from automatic weapon fire. He took a round in his chest and his gut. Make sure they're prepared for heavy blood loss." Willow released Buffy and raced off for Hudson Street. "Buffy." Xander slipped the tee shirt off of his back, folded it twice and placed it over Giles' chest wound. "Buffy," he took her hands and placed them over the shirt. She was quite pale, staring wide-eyed at Giles, her cheeks stained with tears. "Buffy, you have to press here, hard" She pushed down on the tee shirt. Even though he was unconscious, Giles winced in pain. She eased her pressure. "No! You have to keep the pressure on. I know it hurts him, but if you don't he'll bleed to death." Buffy pushed down harder as Xander covered the stomach wound with his bare hands and pressed. This elicited an audible moan from Giles' sleeping form.
Chapter Four
"So I was shot?"
"Yes, twice. Come with me Giles." Angel hopped down from the headstone and walked through the wall back into the hospital. Rupert silently followed. When they emerged inside the hospital once more they were not in Giles' room but the ICU's waiting room. Buffy sat in the middle of the small sofa, weeping silently with blood still covering the front of her powder blue tank top. A still shirtless Xander and an also crying Willow flanked her on both sides. Both of them had clasped onto Buffy's sides and they rocked her gently as she clung to their hands.
"Oh dear," Rupert said sadly, observing his grieving friends.
A doctor entered the room. "Excuse me. Are you three the Giles' children?"
"Yep, that's us," Xander replied.
"I have some news on your father's condition."
"Is he dead?" Buffy said, barely breathing.
"No dear. He's just come out of the operating room. He's being taken to ICU as we speak. He's still unconscious but once he gets settled in, you can go see him, one at a time."
"So he's gonna be okay?" Willow asked.
"He made it through the surgery all right. However the injuries he sustained were quite severe. The bullet to the chest just barely missed his heart. But he's strong and healthy and he's fighting and hanging in there, which is always a good sign. The next twenty-four hours should tell the tale." Buffy gripped her friends' hands a little tighter. "Why don't you three give us about ten minutes to get your father situated and then you can go see him."
"Thanks," Xander smiled weakly. The doctor nodded then left. He turned to Buffy. "He's your Watcher, Buff. You should go first."
"No. No I'm not ready to see him like that yet. You guys can go on first."
"You sure?"
"Yeah Xander, I'm sure."
Willow spoke up. "I guess we should go call your Mom and tell her you're staying at my house tonight."
"No need. She's in Vegas till Wednesday. South-Western Art Expo or something."
"Oh. What about something to eat?"
"No thank you."
Willow looked to Xander, his face a mirror of her own concern. The three were silent until the doctor stepped back into the waiting room. "You can go in now, but one at a time please."
"You go on Xander," Buffy said. Xander stood and looked back at the girls. Willow nodded to him and put her arms around Buffy as the blonde's tears began to fall anew. Xander headed down the hall to Giles' room.
"Come on Giles, let's go." Angel followed Xander down the hall and Rupert followed Angel.
Chapter Five
Xander entered Giles' room. He grabbed a chair from the far wall and slid it over next to his bed. He sat down and upon looking at Giles' frail condition, found himself overcome with the need to ramble incessantly. Sometimes babbling was the only thing that kept the panic down.
"Hey G-man. You're not looking so hot. I know you Brits are supposed to be kinda pasty, coming from the land of constant rain and all, but I think you're taking this a bit far don't you? Sorry. Look, you have to come out of this and that's all there is to it! I mean, you gotta come back for us. Willow, well Willow's gonna be a Watcher someday. I think we all figured that out by now. But she needs you. She needs you to show her the way and to prove to her that it doesn't have to be a terminal calling." Xander swallowed a lump in his throat, partially caused by the thought of Willow being put in that kind of danger and partially caused by thinking of Giles dying when he so much looked like he might.
"And for me too. You're like the God of Knowledge and you turned me, Xander Harris of all people, into Research Boy. Do you have any idea how much my grades have improved since you reintroduced me to the fact that books weren't designed to be paperweights? I'm actually making straight C's for the first time in my life. You can't abandon me with barely a year left to go until graduation." Xander smiled and averted his eyes to the floor.
Across the room, Angel observed a smile on Rupert's lips. "He's scared for you. He always rambles when he's scared."
"Yes, yes I know."
Xander took a deep breath before starting up again. "And Buffy. If you don't make it...she's all tore up Giles. If you don't come back, I don't think she'll live until another Watcher can make it to Sunnydale. I mean, losing Angel and you in the same year? She'll give up. I can already see it starting." Xander wiped a tear from his eye before it had a chance to fall. "We need you Giles. Please don't leave us."
Angel turned to Rupert. He could see his eyes were glassy with unshed tears.
Xander stood. He reached out, gripped Giles' hand, gave it a quick squeeze, then released it and left the room without looking at him again.
"The kid's hurting, Watcher."
Rupert nodded, his mouth suddenly dry. "He's a very sweet boy."
Just then, Willow entered the room.
Willow stood a couple of steps inside the doorway, frozen, staring at Giles' still form in the bed. She swallowed an audible lump in her throat. Rupert instinctively reached a comforting arm towards her, then remembering, he snapped it back to his side. "Dammit!"
Not really sure if she wanted to proceed in, her legs bore her forward anyway. Willow sunk slowly into the chair that Xander had vacated. "Hi Giles," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She cleared her throat and exhaled slowly, her petite fingers finding his hand and intertwining with his own. She sat there just that way for a couple of minutes, silent, watching his sleeping face, gripping his hand, liquid rising in her eyes. Eventually one of the tears found its way free and glided down her cheek. She took a deep breath. "Giles, you've got to fight." Then the dam burst. "Please come back to us," she sobbed. Across the room, Rupert felt his heart break. "I'm sorry." Willow wiped the tears away with the back of her free hand. "I know you'd find it terribly embarrassing if you woke up and found me blubbering all over you."
"Nonsense," Rupert breathed.
Willow smiled. "Then again, you might just say 'nonsense' and put your arms around me and tell me you were fine and I shouldn't cry." She waited for a few minutes as if she expected the latter to actually happen. When it became obvious to the staunchest optimist that that wasn't going to happen, she rose and released his hand. She stepped forward to the bed, leaned over and kissed his forehead. A warm sensation Rupert felt across the room. She then moved her lips to his ear and whispered, "I love you Giles. Please don't leave us." Rupert heard her words right inside his own ear. She smoothed his blanket down with her hand then walked out.
Rupert brushed away a fallen tear. Angel placed a hand on his shoulder.
"It's time Giles."
"Time?"
"You have to decide. Are you going back or are you going on?" From the doorway, a light more brilliant than anything Rupert had ever remembered seeing, shone. He raised his hand against the glare but soon found that it didn't hurt to look into it. Rupert took a step towards it, then turned his back to it and faced Angel.
"I can't leave them. I won't leave Buffy. She needs me."
"Yes she does, but I won't lie to you Watcher. If you go back it's going to hurt, a lot."
Rupert squared his shoulders. "It's my duty to bear anything I must for Buffy's sake," he recited from memory. Angel looked at him, through him, smiling knowingly. Rupert relaxed and let an easy smile grace his features. "All right, you're right. This has nothing to do with duty. I don't care how much pain there will be. I refuse to hurt them like that. And I absolutely refuse to abandon...her." Angel's smile grew wider. "How do I get back...in there?" he pointed to his body.
"Just go to the bed and lay down."
"On top of myself?"
"You'll pass right through and then the reintegration will occur. Hang on when it does."
"Yes," Rupert nodded at him. "Well, good-bye Angel. Thank you." He stepped forward for the bed.
"Giles, one more thing." Rupert turned back to face him. "You have to convince Buffy to kill Angelus. I'm not coming back and she has to be made to see that. My soul can't move on until that body is dust. I can't stand seeing all the death he causes...and the look on her face as he contrives new tortures for her. This has to stop...soon."
Rupert nodded and watched as Angel crossed the room and vanished through the outer wall. He took a deep breath then moved to the bed, turned, sat on the edge, then swung his legs up and laid back.
In a sudden warm rush, Rupert Giles felt an unbearable tightening pain in his chest and stomach. He gasped in pain and as the pain lessened he became aware of other physical sensations. He felt the plastic tube hanging out the side of his mouth. He felt its uncomfortable presence reaching down his throat. Giles felt the soreness in the bend of his arm from where the IV was. He groaned internally as a fresh wave of pain from his wounds overtook him.
As that wave subsided, he could make out other tactile impressions. He felt Buffy's soft hand inside his own. The soft puffs of air on the back of his hand as she breathed. The gentle weight of her head against his hip.
Giles concentrated on one simple act, just opening his eyes. As his eyes fluttered open, little arrows of pain clouded his vision for a moment or two. He blinked them away and guided his gaze down to the sleeping blonde at his side. He disentangled his hand from hers and brought it gently to her cheek, stroking it tenderly with his thumb.
Buffy's eyelashes batted open and her eyes focused on Giles. He pulled off a weak half-smile as she gasped and slowly sat up. "Giles?" Her eyes were twinkling with happiness. She reached up, capturing his hand and holding it to her cheek. "You came back."
"For you Buffy," Giles managed to whisper around the tube in his mouth. She turned her face into his palm and kissed, new tears falling. He wiped them away and she smiled at him. Their eyes locked and no more words passed between them that night. No more words were needed.
THE END