I try to pull my blankets closer around me to keep out the increasing cold, but I find I can no longer move. There seems to be some kind of insidious fatigue that has settled inside my bones. It's no matter I suppose. I've been colder. I'll live.

It's getting darker too. So strange. It seems it was morning just moments ago. It still feels like morning. I can still hear the birds outside that only sing during the first hours of the day. Perhaps it is an eclipse? Perhaps a thunderhead moving across the sun? Again, it's no matter. I've been in darkness before. I'll live.

As I lay contemplating the dimming of the world, I cough. At first, it seems like a tiny rattle in my chest. Soon enough however, it builds into the all too familiar tightness in my torso. It doesn't seem as painful today as it normally does though.

Usually, I would cover my mouth with my hand during one of these coughing fits. I don't really know why I bother anymore. There's no one here to appreciate my manners. I still can't move though and I feel a wetness escape my mouth. That's not so strange. But it has a different taste than normal. Copper tasting. I don't like it.

I don't like not being able to move either. I've decided that. It's damn annoying really. I want to scratch my throat because the coughing has made it feel itchy. I want to pull the covers over me and keep that slow-creeping cold out. I want to walk across the room and turn on a bloody light! Why is it so dark in here?!

Terrific. The coughing is back. This feels new though. I can barely gasp a breath in between spasms. Copper floods my mouth, spills over my dry lips and down my chin. I'd be very embarrassed about it if anyone saw that. I'm shaking so hard now it feels as if my bones might tremble apart.

Another cough, this one worse than all the others. Suddenly, I feel a strange pang in my side. I gasp and am surprised at the gurgling sound it makes. This is getting a little worrisome. It's almost like I've broken something inside. I start to feel heavy. My breathing sounds wet. Feels like I'm filling up inside. Filling up with copper and it's making me so heavy.

I'm starting to feel tired now. I'd close my eyes but there doesn't seem to be a reason to bother. Everything's gone black. That's worrying too. My world used to have so much light in it. In a time far in the past. In a place long since disintegrated. With people, all long gone.

Only me left now. Only me. Another gasp of air struggles mightily against an undercurrent in the flood in my lungs. Suddenly, realization hits me. I smile. I don't think I'll live.

After all this time, this affliction of life has finally proven fatal. An angel once commanded that I "go on." I obeyed. I went on, and on, and on. I've lived all over the world. I've lived past family, friends, and lovers. I've lived through war. I've lived through the heights of ecstasy and the lows of devastation. I've lived.

I've done things I regretted. I've regretted things I didn't do. I've done things I probably should regret but can't seem to bring myself to. I lived. I went on. As long as I could. Longer than most. Long enough to welcome this rest. I've earned the right to stop going on.

With one final attempt at an intake of air, I do exactly that. I stop.

Suddenly, there is light in my world again. No more copper coughs. No more leaden paralysis. Just light everywhere. My mind was foggy for so long. Trying here and there to search out snippets of the memories I'd built. And now, everything is clear and every memory is accessible. Where's my damn typewriter now that I really need it?

I seem to be standing. Well, I seem to be upright. Standing seems to suggest a surface beneath you on which to stand. And I can't tell if there is. I don't seem to be falling though. So that's a help.

Walking...well moving forward somehow... the light seems to break up into swirls of white vapor. It's like low-hugging fog. There appears to be something solid in the distance. A dark mass in the white ahead, still too obscured to see clearly.

When I am close enough to make it out, I find myself bringing my hands up to rub my eyes. Before me, with wisps of mist clinging to its feet, is a large, familiar elephant.

It takes less than a second for the sight to drop a memory into my brain like a penny in a fountain. The implication is almost too magical to believe. Yet somehow, despite everything in my life, I've always maintained my belief in magic.

I make a firm decision to approach the stairs to the pachyderm slowly, and with dignity. I remember making that decision clearly as I bound them three at a time in order to reach the door inside the ear. Licking dry lips, I turn the knob and open the door into the room. Inside, the vibrant colors and lush adornments greet me like an old friend.

My eyes scan quickly as I enter. Soon, they settle on the bed. More precisely, they settle on a figure laying there. Her body is bare. Her eyes are closed. The huge bed dwarfs her. She is everything I remember. She is more than I remember. She is perfection. If I were still alive, I believe the happiness I feel right now would be enough to kill me.

Her eyes flutter open. Her long red hair cascades over her ivory shoulders as she sits. She smiles at me coyly, her eyebrow arched in amusement.

"Satine," I whisper. Another memory comes to mind. I remember promising this woman with everything in my heart, in front of an audience no less, that I would love her until my dying day. I could not have been more wrong. My dying day has passed and I cannot think of a time when I have loved her more than I do right at this moment.

"I believe you were expecting me," she says.

My knees are actually knocking! I've waited for this moment my whole life... literally. I'm with my love again and I stand just out of her reach. Trembling.

"Christian? Is everything all right?"

And as if her words have willed it, suddenly everything is all right. I meet her sweet eyes and smile. "It's a little bit funny. This feeling inside."

"Let Mummy help." She bounces off the bed, catches hold of my arms, and throws me on the mattress. In no time at all, she is on top of me, kissing me senseless. I've always thought sense was highly overrated. "You want to make love, don't you?" She purrs in my ear.

"Yes...yesssss..." I breathe.

She giggles and suddenly I embrace her tightly. It's all I can do not to cry. It's our first night together all over again. We get to start anew. There will be no disease, death or dukes to separate us. We have only our love and all of eternity with which to enjoy it. There will never be a day when dreaming ends.

She pulls back to examine my face. Sapphire eyes never leaving mine as her soft hands caress my cheek. "I have never known completeness, like being here," she sings to me quietly, her voice nearly choking on emotion. "Wrapped in the warmth of you. Loving every breath of you."

"Never knew I could feel like this," I whisper. The rest of my words are stolen by her kiss.

Once I saw a Sparkling Diamond in a kingdom of nighttime pleasures called the Moulin Rouge. I thought it was the most magical experience I had ever known. It changed the entire course of my life.

And it all pales next to the spectacular bliss I found inside the elephant in the sky.

The End.

Lyric credits:
"Your Song" by Elton John
"Gorecki" by Lamb
"Come What May" by David Baerwald